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Finding your parental path

A place where those facing infertility can come and find inspiration, gain knowledge and maybe even have a laugh.

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So, Now What?

3/21/2013

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So, now what?

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This post is dedicated to all of you who are asking yourselves, “So, now what?” I received an early morning text from a dear friend who recently  became pregnant thanks to an anonymous egg donor cycle. This morning’s text was panic-ridden. After having just celebrating her rising HCG levels last week, I learned that she had begun spotting this morning. I was saying, "No, no, no!" in my head. It took me back to when I experienced a similar scare when I became pregnant the very same way. 

Prior to my scare, I had experienced 2 other miscarriages. They were not typical and occurred much later in my pregnancies. I didn’t spot/bleed and was unaware that I had lost my babies until the ultrasounds indicated that their heartbeats had stopped. What people don’t tell us is that there is no such thing as a typical pregnancy or miscarriage. We experience them with varying symptoms and side effects. 

Unfortunately, it may take a few days for my friend to know if she is miscarrying or if her pregnancy is still intact. I am now sitting on the sidelines, much like my loved ones did for me/us, and just praying that her pregnancy and baby(s) will survive. While her pain and anxiety is off the charts, it's excruciating for me not to be able to influence her outcome. 

I know she is feeling tortured. She wants an answer but only the one that will assure her a healthy baby in 9 months. When her mind starts to wander the other way, it’s just too difficult for her to fathom enduring yet another painful loss. I am sending her prayers and hoping that her doctor will say to her what mine said to me which was, “Spotting is very common with twins!”

Kisses and hugs to all of you who are fretting and worrying. I am praying that your healthy babies come to you quickly and with as little stress as possible.

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    Denise Steele is a proud mom of 3 boys thanks to private domestic adoption and a successful anonymous egg donor cycle.

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